A haunting mistake
by cheygrl94
Summary: A devastating afternoon leads Lily to go lose herself, and she gives away a child that she never should have had.


A gentle breeze caressed ivory skin. The sweet scent of summer roses wafted through the air to the pair hidden serenely between the sunflower stalks. Auburn hair hung down in front of the young woman's face. Bright green eyes pierced the obsidian stones that resided in the face of Severus Snape.

The day's events flooded back to her. So... unexpected.

_She'd been waiting at the post office for what seemed like hours to send off her Christmas gifts. She tapped her foot impatiently as finally there was only one person in front of her._

_"I'd like to send off this box of wine glasses." said the silky voice in front of her. She knew that silky purr. She would know it anywhere._

_"Sev?" she spoke automatically, forgetting the fact that she hadn't spoken to him since their graduation, at which he had called her a stupid mud blood and punched James in the face after James had apologized. The man turned around to look at the young redhead that he had loved since he was but a child._

_Blazing green met leagues of black coal they stared at each other in shock. It had been years since they had seen each other. They would have stood still, but the man at the register broke up the impromptu staring contest. "Would you like to make this express shipping? We have the fastest owls in the county."_

_"What?" Severus asked, turning to face the man one again. "Yes, of course." Severus then paid for his purchase, and hesitated, waiting for Lily. He didn't want to watch her go again._

_"Would you like to have lunch with me, Sev?" He looked dumbfounded, which he was. Lily found it so easy to just forgive, and forget. )_

_"Of course, Lily," He wasn't much for stuttering or else the words wouldn't have escaped his lips. They headed to Madam Puddifoot's Tea Shop. The place wasn't exactly crowded, and so they had no trouble finding a booth in the very back where they drank their tea in an awkward silence. Neither could bring themselves to ask even the most basic questions. Both sipped noiselessly at strong black tea, and looked around the room avoiding each other's eyes. Lily soon grew impatient. She hated awkward silences, and wasn't going to waste her tea time in one._

_"How have you been, Sev?" 'There that was simple enough. There is no way that he can make that uncomfortable.' she thought._

_"Fine, and you?" Severus said the words slowly, and without infliction. He was practicing his pokerfaced well. He was getting entirely too good at it for Lily's taste._

_"Same, great actually. James and I have gotten married." She didn't remember who she was talking to or what the effects of her words were before she spoke, but that didn't stop her from getting angry when Severus stiffened, and mumbled unintelligible insults under his breath._

_"Nice of Potter to think enough of you to propose before he tried to get in your pants." Lily fumed._

_"And what, are you implying?" She asked coldly mimicking his tone perfectly. Their eyes met._

_"You know exactly what I'm -"_

_"Listen here, Severus Tobias Snape! I'd like for us to be friends again, but for that to happen you're going to have to GROW UP, and get over this CHILDISH feud with MY FIANCEE! I know that you haven't been associating with the best people as of lately, but your still the genuinely good person I met so many years ago. I know you, Sev. You're not like them."_

_"That's just it Lily. You__**don't**____know me anymore. I'm a different man, now. I've changed."_

_"That's bloody bullshit, and you know it. You and I both know that no matter how many years go by, no matter what you see, or experience, you will always be the scared little boy you were when I met you. You will always be the same little boy that let me learn who I really was, and until just recently stood by me no matter what the consequences were. You may think you've changed, but you will always be that boy."_

_"I'm NOT a little boy, Lily. You can't-"_

_"Please don't fight with me today, Sev." Tears began to form in her eyes. She didn't understand why she had such wild mood swings lately, but she let it go, succumbing to the sadness that was slowly enveloping her. Her eyes pleaded with him. There was no reply. The tears were beginning to sting her eyes. She reached in her purse, and placed three sickles on the table. "I guess I'd better go." she whispered, her voicing catching at the end. The tears began falling down her flushed cheeks. Severus stood unsure of how to proceed. People just didn't cry in front of him. No one trusted him enough to. He put his arms around her in an awkward embrace._

"Don't!" She screamed hysterically, but her body spoke of a different action hidden inside her mind as her hands wrapped around his neck, and she clung to his solid form. Severus secured the woman in his arms.

"It's alright, Lily. It's going to be alright." He whispered as soothingly as he could. He wiped a stray tear from her face with his thumb, and wished he knew how to stop her pain. "Let's get out of here." He whispered. Then there was a violent tug behind Lily's navel, and they were sailing through empty blackness. She was finding it hard to breathe as they sailed away from the dark tea room.

They were in a bright meadow surrounded by tall sunflower stalks. Lily held onto the man as he conjured a blanket and laid it on the pale green grass. He lowered himself, and the crying woman onto the blanket.

No matter how hard she tried Lily just couldn't quit crying. Even when she realized that they were in the field that they had spent so many summer afternoons, she just couldn't stop. Tears rolled freely down her cheeks, and she felt Sev's cool fingers brushing them away in his frantic need to comfort her. "I'm sorry, Sev." was all she could say.

The man placed a finger on her lips and shook his head. He didn't' need her to apologize. "You've done nothing wrong, Lily Bear" he said, hoping the hated pet name would pull her out of her sudden manic depression. It worked. She smiled and slapped his arm playfully. After the rough beginning the afternoon went by beautifully, and now they sat on the same blanket holding each other like they had when they were young. It didn't seem strange or wrong anymore, Lily just gave into it. She couldn't stand to upset Sev again. She couldn't lose him, again.

Suddenly their eyes connected, and Lily wanted nothing more than to have that relationship back, that she'd had in fifth year. She wanted Sev to hold her under the stars of Hogwarts, and never let her go, but most of her still wanted James, so she didn't give in the urge to lean in and kiss Sev, but he did.

Sev read her face carefully before leaning in to kiss the woman desperately. Once the romantic flame sparked, it was as if a fire had begun and gasoline was being rained down upon it. There was no escaping the feelings they had. They had to give in...

Afterward Lily lay in the strong arms of Severus Snape. She caressed the skin of his right arm while his left supported her. As Lily turned over she noticed Sev wince. She looked down to see what was wrong to find, to her horror, a tattoo on Sev's left forearm. It wasn't just any tattoo, but the mark. The dark mark was burned into the flesh of the man she had just made love to. Lily jumped to her feet throwing her clothes back on as best as she could, then apparated to her bathroom, before she could think about anything else. After checking to make sure that James was indeed out partying with Padfoot, she went over to her bed and collapsed into it, crying herself to sleep.

Lily went about her day as quietly as possible. Thankfully James was out with Padfoot and Moony as it was full moon, and she wouldn't have to face him, yet. So after finishing some errands Lily went to visit her sister, Tuney.

"Don't breathe a word to him. He never has to know. With you being the way you are no one will marry you if you're a whore too." It hurt, but Lily felt so stupid that she didn't object. She took her sister's advice, and even when she discovered she was pregnant, she didn't tell James.

She had been sitting in the doctor's office forever when the muggle doctor finally came in. She had chosen to see a muggle doctor so that she could determine how far along she was without making James suspicious. he didn't even know that she was there.

"Well?" she asked impatiently. The man looked at her, and noticed the lack of a wedding ring, (that she had taken off before so that no one would question her maiden name.) and so felt bad about breaking the news. "You're having twins, Ms. Evans." he said quietly.

_'Well that was unexpected'_she thought. "Ok. Umm how far along am I?"

"About four months." Lily sighed in relief as she realized that she was not having Severus' baby. She knew that she could keep her secret well hidden now. "There is one problem, though. One of the fetuses looks smaller, and underdeveloped. It's common in the case of fraternal twins. The boy is larger than the girl. You'll need to take some supplements, and drink plenty of fluids. Ok?"

Lily nodded. This was perfect. She was going to have two of James's children. She wouldn't have to worry about whether James wanted a boy or a girl. He was getting both, but she never got a chance to tell him. When she sent an owl telling him she had some good news he replied that he would be out on an Order mission for the next six months or so. She couldn't believe it. James was going to leave her all alone, for _months_.

She broke. She couldn't fight the tears violent sobs that wracked through her body, and she cried in her living room letting the enormity of her situation wreak havoc on her mind.

She told him of his baby in a letter, and he was thrilled. She didn't mention the second child that she was sure wasn't James'

Five months later Lily was being carted off to a delivery room where she was in labor for twelve hours. When the first child was born they only let her see the baby for a moment, but she knew then that it was not James's baby. The girl's obsidian eyes shone through a fringe of already long red hair. The round chin, and long nose cemented her paternity in Lily's mind.

Her mind couldn't fully process the truth of her betrayal until the midwife presented her with a small carbon copy of James. When both the babies were placed in her arms she looked around. No one was around. She didn't know what possessed her, but she put the boy in the crib next to her bed, then she headed down the hallway with the tightly wrapped pink bundle in her arms. She'd heard of women giving birth to twins with two different fathers. It happened, more commonly in the wizarding world than in the muggle world, but the reality of her situation was monumentally devastating.

When she passed the mediwitch's station, she overheard two of them talking. One was hers, and the other was the only other mediwitch in the maternity ward. "Did you hear about that woman in 315? She lost another little girl. The poor dear just can't seem to keep 'em alive. I wish I didn't have to go tell her the baby passed."

A maddeningly clear plan was forming in Lily's mind as the women spoke. She couldn't keep this child, and let James know of her betrayal, and that woman deserved a child. "You don't have to," Lily spoke softly, and she raised her wand, obliviating the two nurses. Then Lily headed down the hall to room 315. She looked around the room. There was a sleeping woman, and a man sleeping in a chair that had been transfigured into a twin sized bed. Lily spotted the small pink crib and placed the bundle into it.

"I love you, baby, but James can't know of you." She placed her daughter in the dead girl's crib, and left the room to attend to her son. Now he was her only child, and not the child of worthless scum like Severus Snape.


End file.
